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The Great And Terrible

by Everyone Leaves

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1.
I'm sorry I wanted to be So much better than this, But I don't think I can I say these words to keep your body Close to my heart. I know you're gone, but I still miss you all the time. I say I'm fine but I can't keep you from my mind. You knew the worst of me. You loved the things I hated in myself. You saw my greatest fears. You sat with me those sixteen years, When I hated my self, and hated you For loving me all the same. Please look away. But now, I've grown, And moved away from home; I keep my problems to myself, Because you taught me that strength Wasn't building good support, But rather needing nothing of the sort. I keep steadfast in faith not to the world, But to your voice drilling deep inside my head. I've known the worst of this. I've cut off everyone, Because you taught me that's how a man Should be. I'm sorry I wanted to be So much better than this, But I don't think I can I say these words to keep your body Close to my heart. I know you're gone, but I still miss you all the time. I say I'm fine but I can't keep you from my mind. I wanted to be so much better But I'm not.
2.
Seeing Red 02:41
Lately I've been wondering How many times in my life, That I have said I love you and lied. Maybe I was only keeping you here Because I was too damn stubborn to let you go. I've never been the best at letting my feelings show. Choose your next words carefully, Because they may well decide How all of this will end. Maybe I was only keeping you here Because I was too damn stubborn to let you go. I've never been the best at letting my feelings show (Maybe I was keeping you here because I'm so selfish) Though you were only three blocks from my house, It felt like forever. And the distance that I'd built between us Made it not worth the walk. And I can't believe that I Wasted away; Wasted my days with you. And I'll walk home without you; Three blocks back To think about you. I wasted away; Wasted my days with you. And I'll walk home without you; Three block back To think and doubt you.
3.
I can't believe I'll never see you again. I only wish I'd had a chance to say goodbye. There will be more than a few short moments Where this tears at the space beneath my ribs. I don't think I can shoulder the weight of your absence. I don't want to face a day without your light. But that's not a luxury I can afford. Though I'm sure I knew the sun would rise Without you I was never fully ready to wake up in a world Where you were gone. I based so much of myself on the person you wanted me to be When I got older. You were so selfless, That even now I can feel you Urging me not to dwell On your passing, You'd tell me just to pretend That you decided to move away. But I can't lie to myself. Though I'm sure I knew the sun would rise Without you I was never fully ready to wake up in a world Where you were gone. I based so much of myself on the person you wanted me to be When I got older. I'm seeing death more and more in my life everyday Like the guy who shot himself right across the street from where I live And I'm can't get a grip on why bad things happen to the best people But maybe that's why I have beliefs So I can trust things happen for a reason Life's not as bad as it seems just overwhelming In the end everything's gonna be okay I can't believe I'll never see you again. I only wish I'd had a chance to say goodbye. Though I'm sure I knew the sun would rise Without you I was never fully ready to wake up in a world Where you were gone. I based so much of myself on the person you wanted me to be When I got older.
4.
Hide House 04:11
Not everything can be described in words you write. Some moments only live beneath your skin. It isn't always sadness that can lead you to the edge, Sometimes uncertainty's enough to push you in. I know what you want to do when I'm not The steady hands you've grown to know. I'll take the best that you can give And build myself a home. But I know, that I can be abrasive, The way I place my words. I think I'm worthless. Get me out of this house. I don't think I like myself anymore. And I'm trapped in this house, Like I'm trapped in my head. And I'm trapped in this house, Like I'm trapped in my skin. But I know, that I can be abrasive, The way I place my words. I think I'm worthless. Get me out of this house. I don't think I like myself anymore. Say nothing. I think I'm better on my own. I don't need you at all. I don't need anything. I'm just overworking myself, To show progression. I'll move out and die exhausted someday. And I'm trapped in this house, Like I'm trapped in my head. And I'm trapped in this house, Like I'm trapped in my skin.
5.
Push You Out 05:02
You were an out of focus picture of a life I thought I wanted for myself, But I found somebody else. You were all the little things I'd hoped that life would bring to me. And I know I say I'm sorry all the time, but this is who I'll always be. I won't take back what took me twenty years to give. Breath in, relax. It'll all be over soon. I won't take back what took me twenty years to find a way To give away You pushed and watched me fall away. You were an out of focus picture of a life I thought I wanted for myself, But I found somebody else. You were all the little things I'd hoped that life would bring to me. And I know I say I'm sorry all the time, but this is who I'll always be. Don't try to tell me I'm wrong, I've done this all before. It always ends the same. I always feel this way. Don't try to tell me I'm wrong, I've done this all before. It always ends the same. I have to walk away. You were an out of focus picture of a life I thought I wanted for myself, But I found somebody else. You were all the little things I'd hoped that life would bring to me. And I know I say I'm sorry all the time, but this is who I'll always be. I always said I'd leave here Someday when I got the chance. I never said I'd take you with me when I left. I always wanted to be so much better than this, But I'm so sorry I don't think that I can.

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released March 24, 2015

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Everyone Leaves Columbus, Ohio

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